It really is.
When I’m going through situations I can see everyone’s side and understand their hurt and frustration and upset–even if I don’t agree with them on the situation. What I don’t so easily work through is my own feelings about it. Apparently it’s that whole “extroverted intuition” that has me picking up on what everyone else thinks/feels/etc but then my “introverted feelings” take an equal amount of time to process. davesuperpowers is brilliant when it comes to Meyers-Brigg and this video is brilliant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn_ME622T_M He talks about the fact that ENFP’s are the introverts of the extroverted world and hearing that made so much of my life make sense!
It has made my life easier to learn what is in that video–that because I lead with my external I thrive on throwing myself into the party and whatever is going on around me–and then take equal time to process it. EQUAL time was the big key! That the more I throw myself into the situation, the more I have to recover–that I can manage my lows, by managing my highs. (this is all in the video so I’m not using quotes–just go watch it 
).
I see this in all of my relationships–online, groups, family (extended and with my own children). Sometimes I feel like I’m just muddling through the situation–feeling my way through the best that I can, reading and responding to what I intuit and trying to navigate it all. It helps to hold to a very strong moral compass–it guides my choices in the moment so that they aren’t being made just on feelings and what I want, OR on trying to make the other person happy. It’s comforting to have guidelines for the way I will respond in situations.
This is how most of the tools and ideas I share for parenting are developed. I do my best to get through a situation and then I process it. I take it apart. I try to understand and quantify what was going on in the other person. I think about where the trigger point was–when did it go wrong, where did it go right, what (if anything) turned it around? And then I consider whether those things could have been prevented; could they have been responded to differently; etc. That way I have a PLAN for the next time I encounter that situation. Even if I never encounter that situation again, I’m able to be better prepared for the things that are similar, or that seem to be motivated by some common goal/impulse/etc.
But for me, personally, it’s awkward to deal with the situations when they come around. Because I can tell when someone isn’t liking what I’m doing, I’m really sensitive to doing things people don’t like. Because I can predict, from knowing someone, how they will respond to something, it becomes really hard to DO even what I believe to be the right thing. I tend towards people pleasing–I tend towards enabling–because I do NOT like making waves. (I’m also a Sanguine but that’s a different personality tool 
). I’ve learned how to engage in “conflict” because sometimes going to the person is the right thing to do, even though it ties me up in knots and makes me want to vomit. I’ve learned how to let things happen without fighting them even when they are overwhelming and I want to cry and shake my fist at the heavens and declare innocence or cry out for justice. Of course I’m not perfect at these things because we are all works in process–I think because I’m an ENFP I’m very aware of that in myself as well. I would not ever suggest I have all the answers.
What I see in my children makes it all worthwhile, though. I’ve been able to teach them how to make choices, how to trust their gut, how to do the right thing (according to their best understanding of what is going on), and how to engage in conflict with as much tenderness and love as possible. I see them more confident in their encounters with people. None of these things came easy to me and all of them had to be learned (and/or are still being learned). I talk to them and hear them considering the other perspective, and deciding when/if/how to respond depending on what is going on. I have so much hope for them for the future–they don’t have to spend their live learning all the things I’ve had to work so hard to learn. They can start there and go forward and oh what amazing things they will do!
I am glad I’m an ENFP, though. Although, granted, I don’t have the perspective of having been anything else 
I think it tempers the stronger personality aspects–the Type 3 (DYT) and the calling that the Lord has placed on me that leads some into viewing their role from a power position instead of a servant one. It’s a good thing . . . it really is. It’s just hard.
